If your the sensitive type its not reccomended you read my blog. The best place to start is the begining. A story of my life. It may seem ordinary at first but you’ll soon get the picture.
So firstly where to start. I was a happy child to start with. Then dad walked into my memories. He is a child molester. Mum was always abused by him and took beating from him. Lets call him Donkey for anonimitys sake. And mum, lets call her Piggy. I remember her being beaten all the time, Donkey broke her nose, caused her to miscarry and abused her in every possible way. I have a sister, lets call her Sunshine. 4 brothers. We will get to their names later. One of those brothers, lets call him Angel. He is in the begining of this tale. And only the begining. Piggy couldnt get out of the cycle of abuse and to this day still cant. She took beatings and all manner of abuse from the monster called Donkey. From the specific memories that stuck where a few stuck out I will share. I was in my bunkbed in my room. The room with a bolt lock on the outside. Donkey came in and pulled out his genitals and demanded I touch them. I refused. He nearly broke my leg with the beating i got. So I had no choice but to do it. And this continued every night. And when I spoke out I was locked in a cupboard for a few days and given scraps to eat. When Piggy stood up to him she bore the brunt of his rage. Then he would take me to the bathroom and lie me on the floor and fiddle with my vagina. Once again speaking up earned a beating and a stint in the cupboard. The sad part is social services knew about all this and did nothing. Sunshine and one of my brothers Mr Sunshine (we share the same mother but not father) were already taken away from her to live with there dad, lets call him Apple. Donkey was abusing Sunshine and eventually it would get on top of her and couldnt cope. I walked in on Donkey who was stark naked with Sunshine on the bed wearing nothing and he was messing with her as well. One day Donkey gave Piggy such a beating whilst she had Angel in her arms, and Angel caught the brunt of it and it resulted in his death but as evidence was short, it was ruled cot death on those grounds. Piggy went undiagnosed as schizophrenic in an assessment centre afterwards and since she would not give him up the case was dropped and he walked away free. My other brothers Bouncy who was taken into care along with me after Angels death as well as Happy when he was born and was taken straight into care. I also suspect that although family members stepped up for our care, social services stole Bouncy and Happy as well as myself and put is with foster placements. At the time Piggy wasnt diagnised schizophrenic so couldnt act on those grounds. And information I have recently recieved would suggest social workers misled family members saying i was to be adopted. Which didnt happen and instead I bounced from home to home. When Bounce was placed we were seperated, he was adopted but the adoptive parents didnt want a girl and refused to take us both. When Happy was born they took him in and adopted him with Bounce. Even though police where told, they did nothing. The abuse continued whilst I was in care. It happened in the contact centres that Donkey used to attend. The manipulation, the things he whispered in my ears when the social worker wasnt looking like “I want you”. , the inapropriate touching and erections when I sat on his lap. I saw Piggy in contact centres as well.
So thats the start of a load of just really rubbish things.
I was 15 at this point in my tale. When I was in different care homes he was permitted to see me. Even then he was manipulative. Whispering the same things. I ran away to see Piggy and Donkey came back. I felt scared as soon as he walked through the door because i knew what was next once that door was shut. He took me upstairs and told me to take my clothes off. So I did in the hope it wouldnt be so bad this time. I was wrong. He got behind me with an erection and procceeded to have sex with me. He put his finger up the front of my vagina and his hands on my breasts. I tried to move his hand but he stuck it there and I couldnt move him off. And the whole time he was saying “i want you scaley” “ive wanted you so bad you bad girl” “come to me scaley” always Donkey used to say it in short 4 sentence verses. Then he procceded to say “you want your dad insode you, you bad girl” and it couldnt be further from the truth. This continued but I found myself going back to see Piggy and it would happen again.
For now this is all im wanting to share. I will continue but a bit at a time. I want people to know that even though shit happens, its possible to still lead a good life.
thelosttruths 