The abandonment

What do you do when your own mother abandons you not once or twice but three times if not more? Piggy was in a hostel with me and my brother Bounce. I remember making forts from bed sheeets in the BnB and tipping the sofas up. Yet somehow she still managed to leave us behing at the hostel. I was also once left on the beach in Weston Super Mare on the beach. Its a little weird as I had those down as happy memeries and one fond memory of eating a 99 on the sands with my mum while she smiled. Then she just walked away. This kind of thing kept happening yet social services once again did nothing. We were always left in the flat on our own for long periods of time. We were even left at the hospital where my brother Bounce was in intensive care. Piggy had overdosed him on calpol and was rushed in with liver failure. one of the not so great memories I have when that happened is of a waiting area type place in the middle of the seperate cubicles which were separated by walls and doors, there were sofas and a blueish type paint on the wall. I was sitting on a grey rocking horse which looked like a dapple apploosa and had a long grey mane and brown leather bridle. I looked into the cubicle and saw people that looked like doctors standing aound Bounces bedside, whilst he was just laying there tangles in wires and tubes. Its not a nice memory but I cant get rid of it and I don’t think I ever will. How do you cope when all you can remember from what should be happy memories is upset and heartbreak?